Hello HumpDay-ers!!  I don’t know what the weather has been like for the rest of you, but we have gone straight from winter right into summer!  Last week it was so hot in my house and the air was so stagnant that I actually turned on the air conditioning – IN WINTER!  I couldn’t believe it and I felt a little weird doing it, too, but I was comforted by the copious amount of my friends on Facebook who also confessed to turning on their air.  Judge me if you must, but I was comfortable after that!

So, for your funny this week, I thought I would share some stories I found.  These are pretty good…I hope you enjoy!!

Rolls Royce Loan:  A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?”

The businessman replied, “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?”

The Business Meeting:  A business woman named Cindy was in the airport VIP lounge on her way to Los Angeles. While in the VIP lounge, she noticed Donald Trump sitting on the sofa enjoying a brandy. As luck would have it, Cindy was meeting with a very important client who was running somewhat late.

Being a bold business woman, Cindy decided to go ahead and approach Mr. Trump, and introduced herself. Much to her surprise Mr. Trump turned out to be very nice. Encouraged by this she explained to “the Donald” that she was about to close a very important business deal and that she would be very grateful if he could say a quick “hello Cindy” to her when she was with her client. Mr. Trump consented to do just that.

Ten minutes later while Cindy was speaking with her client, she felt a rap on her shoulder. It was Donald Trump. Cindy turned about and looked at him as Trump said.

“Hi Cindy, what’s going on?” To which Cindy glibly replied, “Not now, Donald, can’t you see I’m in a meeting!”

A Courtroom Scene:  A courtroom where a witness is testifying in a case involving a man biting off the ear of another man during a fight. After supplying testimony which was very bad for the defendant, the witness was being cross examined by the defendant’s attorney.

Attorney: You said that you saw the defendant and the claimant in a fight?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You then said that you were concerned for your safety and that, because of it, you went to hide behind the bushes ?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You further stated that during this time in hiding, you turned your back to the scene?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And THEN you testified that that was when the defendant bit off the claimant’s ear??!!

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Okay so if your back was turned to the fight then you obviously MUST have had the claimant and the defendant out of your field of vision, correct?

Witness: Yes, correct.

Attorney: Well then, did you SEE the defendant bite off the claimant’s ear?

Witness: No.

Attorney: (Smugly) THEN HOW DO YOU “KNOW” THAT THE DEFENDANT BIT OFF THE EAR OF THE CLAIMANT IF YOU DID NOT SEE HIM DO IT??!!

Witness: I saw him spit it out.

(Dead Silence)

Attorney: No more questions.

Hope you guys enjoyed those funny stories!!  Have a great week, guys!!

Keep reading,

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Heeeeeeer’s Cassie!

We have a new addition to our marketing team and it is high time I introduce you!  Here’s a quick shout out from Cassie!

Hello Everyone!

I have been with Grace Engineered Products for almost two months and I am so happy to part of this amazing team.  I am learning a lot and meeting new people every day.  I have been married to the love of my life and best friend, Neil, for almost four years.   We have a 16-month-old human son, Hagen and a 6-year-old canine “son” named Milo Ryder (yes, we gave our dog a middle name because when you say it fast it sounds like ‘my low rider’.  Hahaha.  It makes sense because he is just five pounds and itty bitty!)  I love being a mom to both; it is so wonderful!

I am enjoying having my nights and weekends off to spend more time with my family and friends!  In my free time I enjoy scrap booking, gardening, camping, traveling, the Chicago Cubs (I’m probably going to get some flak for that, but I don’t care!!  There’s always this year…or the next) and the Iowa Hawkeyes (Go Hawks!).  I also love music.  I mostly listen to country and my husband and I try to go to as many concerts as possible!

So that’s me in a nutshell.  I look forward to working with and meeting you all!  If you ever need anything, feel free to contact me at cvining@grace-eng.com or call me at 563-823-5515.  Have a great day!